Archive for October, 2011

Quit Your Crying! An Entertainthing Poem

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Why oh why, do reality stars cry?

If you’re in the middle of China and can’t find a cab,

Or on Redemption Island alone with a crab,

Try to remember all the people you beat,

To have this once in a lifetime, million-dollar treat.

If you’re ugly, obnoxious, and talentless as well,

Don’t forget it’s someone’s dream to be living in your self-imposed hell.

Oh my Survivors and Amazing Race pairs,

Why rage and spit and weep salty tears?

Even though countless viewers have been deceived,

It’s a great gift that you’ve received.

For while you wear disrespect on your faces,

We’re left to dream of faraway places.

Please understand the craziest thing of all,

By some miracle of miracle you received a producer’s call!

Now you’re cursing your fate all the way over there,

And I’m writing poetry, still at home, still right here.

Fall TV – New Girl on the Block

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

It’s fall again and that means TV is back!  All the old favorites and a bunch of new junk is fighting for DVR time.  Who is going to win?  Well, as far as you should be concerned, you just need to clear up one half hour on Tuesday night for the best new comedy this year, New Girl.

The problem with most new comedies is that they try so hard.  They want us to know that they’re clever, cute, ultra-super-hip, and young.  The idea is to throw a semi-diverse group of young actors together and see what comes out.  Well, what you get are shows like Whitney (NBC, 2011), Happy Endings (ABC renewed for this year), and Perfect Couples (NBC, cancelled last year – the worst).  These are all bad shows.  They lack chemistry and they lack sincerity.  But move over crap, because this fall, we’ve got New Girl!

New Girl stars Zooey Deschanel as Jess, and it centers around her and her three male roommates.  The pilot starts off by Jess catching her boyfriend cheating and needing a new place to live.  She answers an add to become the fourth roommate to three guy friends.  Jess and the boys are meeting for the first time just as the audience is meeting all of the characters which is a technique so many shows ignore.  New Girl allows the audience to experience that exciting, uncomfortable, honeymoon phase of frienship where other shows throw you into the deep end of life-long connections.  And Jess and the guys are just so likeable.

Jess sings half of her dialogue and is the absolutely uninhibited, one-of-the-guys girls that everybody loves.  Three episodes into the show they’ve already had to replace Damon Wayans Jr. with someone half as cool and twice as exciteable, but still, I know the show is strong enough to make it all the way.  Set the DVR now! and catch the pilot on Hulu.  This is the new show you need to have in your lineup, and it’s on Tuesday which is Drama/Reality night on every other channel.  No excuses, catch New Girl now.

Drive – Pulls it Off

Saturday, October 1st, 2011

Take one look at the poster for Drive and you’ll have no idea what this movie’s about.  There’s Ryan Gosling who’s all dirtied up and squinting, then the name of the movie spelled in 1980’s pink.  It’s only a small vertical tag line on the side of the poster, “Some heroes are real,” that gives any hint at the action to come.

Gosling is a getaway driver of the highest quality and he carries himself with a quiet, isolating, confidence.  Through persistent accidental encounters, he lets his neighbor, Carey Mulligan, and her son into his life.  We’ve been given an optimism at this point, with a synthesized dreamworld soundtrack and a montage of Mulligan slowly melting Gosling’s exterior over a sunset drive and dinners at home.  But Gosling’s day job as a mechanic and Hollywood stunt driver roll him into dangerous business circles and, just like Gosling, we the audience are trained to keep our guard up.

The plot of Drive is engaging, but it’s more interesting to see how the director, Nicholas Winding Refn, gets away with turning this awkward romance into an ultra violent action movie.  The success of this comes from Gosling’s performance and our understanding of his motivation.  We hear the crunching of bones and we see realistic sprays of blood, but it works completely.  While it’s shocking, we have come to understand a character that will do anything to protect someone he cares about.  This understanding allows us to root for a good guy in a bad situation.  It allows us to accept the fact that the pink font and the innocence of the movie poster are not a lie, but that they’re the motivation, the drive for a person like Gosling to do what needs to be done.  We’re told that some heroes are real, and I believed it of Gosling.